Damn!

They say a circle goes full round..
yes i am standing there again astound..

It would have been simpler..
if i wouldn't have known..
Damn!!!
I shouldn't have known!

I have some Pictures!

You saw me and wondered that day
I was too little to even do it
and realize that god has given me
the best gift of my life!
before i could barely open my eyes!!

I have a picture Brother!
when i as a little doll
is cuddled in loads of cloths in a good round chair
and you standing behind,
quite.. with your innocent black eyes wide open
I was too little to realize
that god has given me my strongest support
standing behind, before i could barely know anything

I have a picture Brother!
when we were riding a horse
together
and enjoying and laughing
I was secure and fearless despite my little age
I was too little to realize
that you won't ever let me fall off
in life's ride

I have a picture Brother!
of you building a brick castle
and i am siting beside
you told me how to make it strong
I was too little to realize
that you'll help me building my life
Strong and quake proof :P

I have a picture brother!
you published in papers and magazines
I couldn't have been happier!!
I was too little to realize
that you were making me learn to set goals
and achieve them!!

I have a picture brother!
when we were laughing out
loudly and madly
for hours
coz of your amazing sense of humour
I was too little to realize
that you were teaching me
how to live the life!!

I have a picture brother!
in my mind :)
of me calling you and talking for hours
telling you the minutest of things
and you
patiently listening
and telling me different ways to sort out
You never told me your worries
I was too little to realize
I had got the best friend of my life!!

I have many many more pictures!
you pulling my leg
or calling me by the names which
for human good which i pray no one should listen
you being around when i am not feeling good
or telling me the latest website you found
you calling me and asking my advice
or tell me that I cook nice
don't I know thats your way of loving me!!

you making funny faces
and silly silly jokes
but trust me those are the moments of my life
i have laughed most!!

These pictures have made a lifetime album
i know everything now
which i did not realize than
and my dearest brother
you add a picture every moment we are together
and improve Perfection!!

Love you Bhai! :)

@ Peace

So here i am!!

being ingenuine with genuine
if neone's concern
of course in return!!

playing the game,
loving chalk and hating cheese
cheese is so commonplace!!

Laughing with or laughing on
u cant get it with the flavor of laugh!
and i just enjoy it!!!

spider web or bunch of whatever
watching, smiling
from a finer ground!!

I can walk, i can run
or stretch my hands
feel the air
splashing on my face

i stand, i smile
look around
refuse
to be still
to be a part
to be in a web

and i turn into a complete unit
I am at peace!!!

Creative Clones????

if you are flowing like a water, check your density , your chemical composition for minerals present.. determine exectly how and in which direction you would flow.. give us the direct map, the complete area you are going to swipe.. on a second to second planning..

its impossible , it cant be done.. I am water don't know which surface i am gonna kiss.. don't know if i touch the ground where would it lead.. it depends upon the way wind would flow.. it is impossible..

Impossible??? Dissolve..

Okay , if you are a dancer, check your moves, tell me each cut your body is going to make, give a detailed accounting of by how much milimeters your eyes would strech with the change of beats.. what angle you are going to rotate your hands.. Oh!! you know physics&Maths?? map it on a 3D plane.. and in case your heart beats with the beats of music.. Map them and forecast the passion in your heart with every next beat so that i can calculate your next move..

Its impossible , It cant be done.. I am a dancer.. don't know which plane i am gonna cut.. don't know because i don't do it.. it happens when music starts.. beats touch me.. they make my eyes strech and create alive expressions.. i don't know when my hands move, coz i dont move them.. they move and i just watch.. like you. like an outsider.. I cant map my heart beats to the beats on play.. coz i can dance without the music too.. Oh! sorry i can watch myself dancing without music too.. I cant do what you want.. Its Impossible..

Impossible?? Dissolve..

you are a gem.. a valued one in market.. want to put many of you in a bouquet.. its going to be vibrant and different.. But wait can you be more presentable.. can you all wear masks.. so that you all look alike.. We would like to cut your edges in the same shape.. Standardization???
We would provide some artificial lights, you all would glitter the same..

Its Impossible , it would make us clones.. cloning kills creativity..... we would loose our essence.. without our glitter, shape we would look dull together.. We cant do what you want.. its tough..

Its tough?? (Devil Laugh) Oh no its not.. dont let your creative Quotient die.. You all be clones.. creative clones.. and if you cant..

Dissolve..

Decide.

A Friend

She entered room, she knew she is going to be alone for next four days..

and the little number of people she knew had left the city..

but she had some hopes..

she opened room.. and started looking here and there

she was searching somehing which she didn't know why..

she even checked the bathroom and mirror..

she hated for being foolish..  why and what she is looking for..

Tired, She opened her laptop to watch a movie.. ofcourse to kill time.. 

there was a note struck on keypad..

saying.. 

Watch Movies.. Stay nice.. enjoy.. and Yeah Blog :)

and she smiled..

she got all the answers.. why and what was she looking for..

and the anxiety was not "to find something" but to validate..

and her tension for next four days was gone..

coz she knew if not in the city.. there are many people who are with her right now..

some people are sleeping in banglore, gurgaon or chennai....

one is travelling to Hyderabad right now..

She wanted me to blog..

So this one is for her...

This one is for u..

San San :)

Salaam Mumbai...

I have been to Mumbai before.. Yes i do accept

 that calling it a visit wouldn't be appropriate by any standards not just because of the length of time i spent here but also because of the little area i swiped..

So here i am.. for two months this time..

and this started with the "loot"experienced by me and my friend by a cab driver when it was told by my PROUD Mumbaiyaa friend that i won't get any problem at Mumbai.. No one cheats..

So this post is dedicated to u my friend.. To tell you that there is no perfect white .. there is no perfect black.. there are shades of gray.. and even the lightest of gray has a percentage of black.. but that little pie of black doesn't make it ugly.. but makes it more beautiful because of contrast effect.. 

Mumbai is beautiful as per 28 hours of my life i spent here.. lets see for next two months which i am sure will be nice too.. But don't escape when black is mentioned...

Accept the Gray...  :)

The Base..

I would like this one with the one of the lines my father uses -

"Kad tab uncha hoga

jab sar aasmaan mein aur kadam hon dharti pe...

 jad sir aasmaan mein ho aur kadam bhi..

to kad uncha nahi hota..

insaan gir jaata hai....  

"

and after a visit to the city i was born .. and had the strongest connection with ... i can understand dad's these words ... better .. every time..

I am talking about FARIDKOT,the city where me , my brother , my father and yes by coincidence my mother was born too. A city which embraced my grandpa and whole family including a kid of 6 months when they came from Pakistan in 1947. So in real manner it is not the place where we belonged to as all that is left behind. But no matter how many times different names of places are discussed at home as our roots, how many times my father gets transferred to the best of cities, how many times i change my address and my phone number with the changing months, you ask me to define home - I'll say Faridkot.

It is the most beautiful place on earth where every one knows every body. Where one doesn't have to tell a rickshaw waala a house number to go but "Sharma ji" aur "Rabra ji's" home..

This time i reached there at 5 30 in the morning and i was looking at shops, clock tower and what not which is standing still without any kind of change from years. There is no place better where i feel home even if i visit after one year. It welcomes me with open arms and the warmth which can't be matched.

All those memories from past are so fresh that when ever i go there... I see my brother running after kites in summers holiday in that home.. I see my mother and aunt chatting and cooking for large huge family which is gathered for summers.. I see my grandma giving me extra rupee to buy toffees.. I see my father showing me the best places of city.. my uncle taking me out for a scooter  ride... I see myself playing at our own farms.. splashing the water on my cousins out from a tube well...

All that was so beautiful.. Being there is so beautiful...

This place which is second smallest town on India's map is most important place of my life...

Because it gives me a strong solid base.. which never changes.. allows me to go.. jump high in life... come back to its freshness and revive myself.. touch the base.. and jump even higher...

The Generation Theory

Theory : Genertion X > Generation Y if X>Y

To Prove: IS generation growing at a faster pace and each gen is smarter than previous one...

I have many friends of which majority is from the same age group as mine.. Many a times(as usual) we start talking about our childhood.. There is a connect always which i wonder is one of a kind or people from every age group share.. It happened many times with me with different people..
"hey do you remember Small Wonder?"
"Oh !!! Yes.. I do.. It was amazing...
do you remember chandrakanta on Sundays ?"
Of course... and on and on...
and here eyes starts widening..
and then there is a whole lot of series as the two major , precious and only channels we had were DD1 and DD2.. and there was exact set of serials,cartoon movies everybody watched.. It gives a connect... yes when one starts singing ... She is a small wonder.. or you just join in.. or sometimes when someone calls you Genie and you instantly reply.. Mallllik.... with blinking your eyes and folding your arms..
How can we forget our very own --" chandrakanta ki kahaani... ye maana hai puraani.. "
Very true...
and once these childhood talks start they go on and on.. We all had our simple, easy and innocent childhood watching same Alice, Baloo or Uncle Scrooge... That connects us all..

I really wonder if the kids today would be able to talk like this.. or what common things Kids must be watching or doing these days with 100+ channels and infinite choices.. Whenever i visit my Big Brother's place i seriously gets a big shock by hearing the talks of eight or nine years old who are passing by with more upmarket clothes than us... The girls of third fourth standard waxed up, boys already having number of girlfriends and breakups..
I find them smart.. But i am sorry i don't find them cute or huggables...

PERHAPS generation is growing at faster pace and each gen is smarter than previous one...

Now the litmus paper test for us...

The people from my parents age has something to connect.. but i think our generation might connect by childhood but it will loose on adulthood because of the same reasons the kids are loosing the connect in their childhood...
The way i feel when i see kids of today , our elders do feel about us..
As i don't see a kid in a kid anymore but a premature adult, our elders must be finding a premature middle aged..

YES generation is growing at a faster pace and each gen is smarter than previous ones...

Hence proved !!!

Dreams Unlimited

I have a dream..
to wake up early one day.. and see what the rising sun looks like..
how does it feels when the morning breeze touches your skin to give you a cool soothing sensation..
I fail..
I sleep at 6 in the morning at times..
I see the rising sun, I feel the morning breeze...
Its equally refreshing.. with tired skin... Its equally beautiful ... with sleepy eyes...

I have a dream...
to dance alone.. for myself... to let my soul refresh... to let my body exhaust...
I fail..
Now I dance in parties...
with hundred of people around... far is being alone.. its impossible to see one's self completely..
I dance when my soul is exhausted... and my body fresh...
But its equally passionate, Vibrant and Meaningful to me... Its equally amazing...

I have a dream...
to be with people who have taken different paths in the life's ride...
to be with them.... and feel nostalgic about older times...
I fail..
i am not with them as everyone is on a different path..
I am still with older times... I feel nostalgic about those people...
But its equally nostalgic, It brings same tears... and smiles...

I have a dream..
to have a baby's sleep without any dreams... a sound sleep...
I fail..
I can't sleep .... I am wide awake in the bed most of the times..
and i see loads of dreams.. with open eyes..

and it is not same... it is different...
and according to the odds one out criterion among above four..
I think I fail completely in this one..

I fail to dream - to not to dream..

anyways
Dream on.. :)

Cashless!!!

Okie... I am cashless... No I am not moneyless but cashless.. My exams are going on and in the crudest of terms I am not ethically allowed to leave the campus and go to market and bring out some cash. No that doesn't really mean that I am not allowed to have fun or waste some time, I do that at times but going out of campus is kind of thing one should avoid to get rid of that unnecessary guilt...

Trust me try out sitting in bed with loads of books around and watch a movie and those haunted ethical moral screams won't be blocking your way this ways...

Anyways coming back to the point that I am cashless doesn't really mean that I am money less... I have money in those plastic cards which are always kept in my wallet and which have completely changed all the definitions of having money or being rich feeling which I have gathered in my childhood...

It was always different when I was a kid and my father used to put a coin in my hand as a day's pocket money... It was so different... I used to look at it with twinkling eyes.. I remember exactly how it used to feel when that cold metal coin was touched against my skin... I used to wrap my fingers around it to completely... to sink in the feeling of having a treasure... and after a time it used to get warm leaving behind my hand and fingers cold...

Me and my brother used to love Duck Tales and I always imagined having as many coins as Uncle Scrooge had.. I fascinated the way he used to swim in his Coin Pools.. It moulded my idea of being rich... The rationale behind having Millions of rupees in few plastic cards doesn't fit in that picture at all!!!

I still Love coins more... it gives me a feeling of having money... The most powerful thing in my hand...
The only thing I love about plastic money is its convenience of course ... and yes it does fit in the picture of magic machine which used to give loads of money in my dreams as a kid...

But trust me, for me it cant beat the feeling of having a solid metal, rigid and tough coin in your hand...

which cant be broken.. Or tore apart...

Anyways… I am cashless!!! I need Money!! :P

Lily's wonders

Scene 1:

Little Lily is scribbling A to Z billionth time in that four lined notebook. Preparing for her Exams. She doesn't even think about this notebook in her exam!!

Scene 2:

Lily is in Fifth standard. Reading, Learning.... Again reading and again learning...
Ya again and again... She tries to see the picture of her books and notebooks while appearing in exams trying to recall if she has written exactly the same!!!

Scene 3:

Lily has grown up. She is in boards and learning toughest formulas, derivations, diagrams, solving problems.. While appearing in Boards she wonders what if someone allows her to bring a book to the exams... or a calculator... Alas!!! Stop lily .. start writing the paper and stop dreaming illogical..

Scene 4:

Lily is enjoying her engineering days.. Heard that one of the exam is open book... you can take the calculator too.. What ??? Surprised!! Lily tries to solve the paper with the book.. Its impossible. She fails to solve even one in open book and does it all in closed book.. She is confused.. :(
Again She wonders hat if some body gives me the paper one day in advance... OH That would be heaven.. Stop Lily.. Illogical..

Scene 5:

Lily is doing her last two years of study... Management graduate.. sounds serious.. Okie so exams are again on.. (One of the two lac thirty four thousand three hundred eighty seven exams she has appeared till date :D )
Now its open book, Open laptop, you can use the internet too during the exam... Well just a sec...
What ???
The paper is given in advance too... Three days in advance???
and yes solution is available on internet...

Everyone around is studying..

She is Still wondering....

A complete blackout...

Once upon a time there was a genie. She grew up with ma genie, pa genie and the perfect sibling. It was a beautiful world. Everything was perfect. When she grew up she was told she has to go to some other world to learn "Magic". Blink Blink "magic"?? Genie said. What for? I don't need it ma, I don't need it pa... look at us we are perfect...
But later she understood and she left the wonderland. The new magical school was situated on hills. OH it was beautiful, magical and mesmerizing!!
Genie could not believe her luck. She was so happy just being there. She started her learning and trust me she was good. People said she really had magic in her. Everyone loved her, and yes she loved everyone too. It really snowed there!!! Those soft cotton flakes used to embrace the whole campus with the lovely white sheen. The breeze used to be pure, genies around were best people.
She studied, she enjoyed, she played, she danced, she cried, she laughed, she slept, she cooked, she joked, she talked, she bitched, she loved, she was lively, she was alive, She was happy...
In fact she was very happy...
Again it was a perfect world. Again it was so beautiful...

She asked her teachers to give some electives of curses, they refused!!!
She argued we learn magic, we must learn curses too...
Teachers said it is a magical world genie and you are here to make it more beautiful...
she said, 'But we should know how to fight curses'... her voice was lost in the hooting crowd of class to stop her... DCP even there was not allowed… ;) (DCP stands for Desperate Class Participation)
and then the moment came that genie had to step out of the campus, to the real world where she was supposed to spread her magic.

At present she is in real world, trying to do magic... But she is failing as there are more curses to be treated than magic treats which she doesn’t know. She knows how to love people around and care for them. She got an A+ in that one. She doesn’t not how to differentiate.. She doesn’t know everyone should not be loved... It’s not a fairy world anymore... every one isn't the best.
She is lonely... she is not happy...
she wants a perfect world back, she wants it to be beautiful again....

It is mounting on her continuously and leading her to the worse…

today at 7:40 pm... She lost her consciousness... for few minutes...
It was a complete blackout...
She is recovering...

Red - Omen

Have you ever heard about a word called OMEN??? I am sure you have. I had but i am not sure how much i follow them because there are situations when I gave up the belief. I fight back and keep myself walking towards it. It goes like this - one bad omen, one step forward... two bad omens, two steps forward plus a fight...
Yes, after this if you want to call me a fighter in addition with some good adjectives, of course I’ll smile and feel flattered, but my heart inside must be thinking is this worth enough that I wasted my energy or time fighting?
Or you can hold a different point of view like you can very well say that huh! You are not a fighter but a coward who couldn't give up the desire to get something even when you knew that you'll end up in a mess. Trust me in this case too I’ll smile. I don't know whether I’ll feel flattered or not. Anyways that won't make a difference to you Right?
At times I think being superstitious at times helps you to get out of it. It again depends. Many cats died when I crossed their path in my childhood, now if I am not scared after a cat crosses my path is it disrespecting myths/beliefs?? No, I am not doing that, but the poor cat is. As far as I am concerned I can leave the path just to be clean in eyes of Animal's Rights people, and to be kind and generous!!!

Omens have very much significance of animals and colors. Devils are associated with red, or cats have something meaningful to say, it is believed.

Few days back I was discussing with someone that I am encountering too many cats. The person had a strong belief in Omens and he said that Cats always come as a messenger. Oops!! Excited enough I asked how to get the message; He said it depends upon how a cat presents itself???
What??? So I have decided now I’ll write my own luck, I'll encounter cats (Oh it is easy, there are many of them in campus) and infer the way I want to. It’s easy...

See I’ll fight again, even only by inferring, I’ll change my bad OMENS to Good OMENS!!!
OMEN... Oh sorry...
AMEN!!!!

Black - Soothing Emptiness

They say black absorbs all.. that makes it dense, deep and rich. It has everything hidden...
I say black sacrifices all.. it makes other colors brighter..

They say black is conservative and rebellious.. it is conflicting..
I say it is mysterious..

They say it is absence of colors..
I say it is presence of all..

They cant categorise it is positive or negative..
I ask
How dark is your Black??

Let me Judge
on the scale of "shades of Black"....

Lilac - First Emotion

Lilac - the word to start with or the name of this blog has much significance in my life for some reasons. Of course I love this color because of its vibrancy but I love it more because of what it signifies – Elegance, Beauty and first emotion. So when I was thinking about the name of my blog what came into my mind was that it will reflect my true first reactions…

Thus here is Lilac –my first emotions about anything and everything.

Beside the name, will try to put every color in the bouquet to pick upon!!!